Things happen FOR me

For most of my life, things happened TO me. Sometimes those things were “good” things and I felt happy, grateful, energetic, loving, etc. But a lot of the time when reality didn’t live up to my expectations, I felt disappointed, demoralized, dejected, and sometimes even depressed. When you allow things that happen in the physical world to impact your inner state of being (how you think, feel, and believe about yourself), you are acting as a victim. 

Since we have no actual control over what happens “out there” (how other people think, feel, act, or treat us or the events that occur), I eventually figured out that it was more useful to treat everything that happened, whether seemingly good or bad in the moment, as an opportunity for learning, growth, and transformation. This is not by any means always easy to do. This is a practice that must be developed and deepened over time. I am still working on it and am not always successful in the moment. But better late, then never.

Another practice that is helpful for me is to NOT speak or act in the moment (imagine duck tape on your mouth) if I am not in an open-hearted place. If you are feeling contracted (angry, frustrated, blaming, judgemental, etc.), hold your tongue. Wait until you are in an open-hearted place before speaking or acting. This will help you to avoid creating bad karma or escalating a contentious situation.

By treating everything that happens, no matter what, as a gift meant for your personal growth and by not speaking or acting out of a contracted place, you are contributing to the well-being of others and a little bit more peace in our turbulent world.