The Secret to Achieving Your Goals
The SSS Goal Setting System
If I asked you the following 2 questions…
On a scale of 1 - 10, how good are you at SETTING personal goals?
On a scale of 1 - 10, how good are you at completing or achieving the personal goals that you do set?
How would you answer?
Across more than 60 clients I asked these questions to, the average response to both questions was a 6 or less.
So that means that on a scale of 100 (10 x 10), the average score was 36/100 in terms of setting and completing personal goals. When I asked them realistically what number they would like to be at, the average response was 80/100. That’s a pretty big gap!
So how might you go from being a 36 to an 80 on this success scale?
Two of the main reasons that so many people struggle with achieving their goals is that (1) they often don’t know WHY they want to acheive them and (2) they don’t realize that achieving a new goal is equivelent to creating a new habit and/or letting go of existing long entrenched habits. If you are not conscious about and skilled in creating new habits and breaking old ones, this will almost certainly derail you. And based on your past experience of not often achieving your goals, you are much less likely to want to set new ones. It’s a downward spiral.
Let’s create a new upward spiral where you set goals, achieve them, and then are even more excited to set new ones.
I call my goal setting system, the SSS system. The first “S” stands for “State of Being”, the second “S” stands for Simon Sinek (who I borrowed this part from), and the 3rd “S” stands for the SMART goal setting system. When taken together, these three practices will supercharge your goal achievment success!
Your State of Being
How you feel (your energy level) and the words that you use when you set a new intention have a significant impact on follow through, commitment, and discipline in achieving your goals. Things that impact your energy level include your state of mind, posture, breathing, and tone of voice. It is also often helpful to have another person (who cares about you) be your witness when you state your goal. Stating your goal with declarative language (“I will” or “I am”) out loud to another person helps create commitment and external accountability.
When you set a new goal, I would invite you to do it like this:
Stand up with an energetic posture (chest out, shoulders back, knees slightly bent, otherwise relaxed)
Get yourself in a state of high energy through whatever processes work for you (breathwork, visualization, gratitude exercise)
Have someone who cares about you and is present in your life stand before you as your witness
Speak the words “I will ____________” in a forceful, even fierce manner. Say it three times!
The Power of Knowing WHY you Want Something
Best selling author and business guru, Simon Sinek, talks about how the most successful leaders and organizations start with the WHY of what they do rather than the WHAT or the HOW. The WHY is a purpose, cause or belief. On the journey to achieve any goal, there will be times when you lose momentum, enthusiasm, or determination to keep going. You will experience setbacks, roadblocks, and resistance. Think back to past diets, workout regimens, or other New Year’s resolutions. How many of them did you actually complete? The WHY gives you the energy, passion, drive, and determination to move through obstacles, setbacks, and resistance. So, in coaching we say, start with the WHY.
Your authentic WHY should generate a strong emotion in you. One way of getting to your authentic WHY for a given goal is to ask yourself the repeated question, “Why do I want this”? As you continue to ask this question, you will go from your head into your heart. With each iteration of the question, you will go deeper until you reach a place where you feel a strong emotion. When you ask yourself the question again, you’ll get the same answer from your heart. That’s It!! You got it!
At the beginning, if it’s difficult to start with the WHY, you can still start with the WHAT, but instead of moving directly to the HOW, take a detour and figure out your WHY first. Then you can move on to the last step - figuring out HOW you will achieve your goal.
Example:
What: I want to lose 20 pounds.
Why: I want to be healthy and strong as I age so I can enjoy spending active time with my grandchildren.
So, now when you run into those moments of weakness, you can use your WHY to generate the passion and energy to stay on course.
The SMART Goal Setting System
Now that you know What the goal is and Why you want it, you can use the SMART goal setting system to craft the exact language of your goal.
SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time bound. A SMART goal meets all five of these requirements.
A goal like, “I want to lose weight” is not Specific, Measurable, or Time bound, so it is NOT a SMART goal. You could make this goal SMART by rewording it something like this…
“I will lose 20 pounds by March 20, 2022”
It is now Specific, Measurable, and Time Bound. After figuring out your WHY and crafting your SMART goal, you can then move on to the final step - figuring out the HOW part. The HOW might look something like…
I will go to the gym 3 times per week
I will go on an evening walk 5 nights per week
I will go on the KETO diet
Advanced Goal Setting
Another advanced goal setting practice is to anticipate the obstacles that might come up ahead of time and devise strategies for getting through them if and when they show up. As an example… if you know that you have a sweet tooth and that you like to reward yourself for working out with a treat and your route to the gym takes you past your favorite donut shop… WALK HOME A DIFFERENT WAY!
Finally, a very useful aspect of breaking a goal down into the distinct components of WHY, WHAT, and HOW is that you can be very attached to your WHY; it should almost never change. You can be very committed to your WHAT; it should rarely change. And, you can be completely unattached to your HOWs; these can be viewed as experiments. If they work well, keep doing them and if they don’t, pivot. Do something else.
If you are attached to your WHY, committed to your WHAT, and willing to let go of your HOWs when they are not working, you will be well on your way to achieving your goals.
Sample Goal Format
What: I will lose 20 pounds by June 30, 2023 (This is a SMART goal)
Why: So that I will be alive, healthy, and fit to be active with my grandchildren.
How:
I will go to the gym at least 3 times per week
I will go on the Whole 30 diet and stick to this diet 80% of the time
I will make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep per night
I will reduce my HDL Cholesterol Level to ______ by December 31,2023
I will meditate for 30 minutes at least 5 days per week
Obstacles
Sweet Tooth (for diet)
Strategy: I will remove all items that contain added sugar from my kitchen
Strategy: I will replace my craving for sugar with healthy substitutes (dates, etc.)
Injuries (knee, back, etc.)
Strategy: I will get a personal trainer to show me how to workout in a safe manner
Strategy: I will stretch before and after each workout
Habits (habits to break and habits to create for success)
Need to break my sugar addiction habit
Need to have a new habit to eat fruit and other non sugar added items for dessert
Measuring Progress
I will use a Habit tracking App on my phone to list up and track my habits in support of my goals