To BE or not to BE…
To be or not to be…? That is the question!
A very apropos inquiry in today’s crazy world. We live in a society that teaches, encourages, and rewards action. People who spend too much time not producing, not doing, not creating, or not competing are often viewed as lazy procrastinators or even dead wood on society. The spoils of society (money, wealth, fame) go to the over achievers and the winners are the ones who work the hardest and the mostest.
The unspoken formula behind all of this frenzy is quite simple…
Do -> Have -> Be
If we DO the right things (study hard, work hard, make money, etc.) then we will HAVE what we want (wealth, fancy stuff, amazing experiences, a perfect relationship, fame, prestige, clicks, likes, followers, etc.) and then we will finally BE happy and fulfilled. It’s interesting how often this formula does not work out for people. How often do we hear about supposedly wildly successful people at the top of their personal mountain peak who are unhappy, unfulfilled, and depressed. How many famous and wealthy people sink into alcohol, drug, or sex addiction or even end up committing suicide.
And yet, we seem to keep following this “success” formula anyway!
Einstein has been quoted as saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
So, why do we keep doing it? Maybe because most of us are unaware that this is the unconscious hidden driver behind our consumer focused culture. And for those of us who are somewhat aware, we may not have considered that there might be a better way to BE.
In coaching, we believe and practice that being and doing are equally important and necessary to creating and living a fulfilling, energetic, and passionate life. There needs to be a balance between the two. We also believe that the order of this formula is actually backwards.
Another way of looking at this formula is as follows:
BE -> DO -> HAVE
An example of Be -> Do -> Have, “I am a happy, grateful, giving person who enjoys the roller coaster journey of life. From this state, I DO the things that resonate with what is most important to me (I create a business that I love and am passionate about). The business generates the things that I need and I am grateful for whatever I have.”
In coaching we have an axiom that says, “deepen the learning and forward the action.” This implies that both BEING and DOING are equally important and that if you have the choice, starting with BEING first is often more effective.
By BEING first and figuring out what is important to you and why, you will DO more effectively. You will DO more in alignment with your values and life vision. From the DOING, you will learn more about what is most important for you (more BEING), and from this place, your next round of DOING will be even more effective. This cycle creates an upward spiral of fulfillment, happiness, peace and real sustainable success.